I was fortunate....

I was holding a glass filled partially with water and was looking at it and thinking whether its half empty or half filled.

I was thinking that same way my life is going; don’t know whether I am just a letdown of a promising start or a fighter who fight for a better future till last breath….

I have several regrets in life, had few complains too but on a larger scale I think I am fortunate one…

I am fortunate to read Shantaram, The kite runner, Kane and Able, Atlus shrugged, Fountain head of foreign authors in one life time….

I was fortunate to read kitne Pakistan, Madhushala, mahatma vs gandhi by Indian writer…

I was fortunate to read work of premchand ji, Nida Fazli, kamleshwar, Harishankar Parsayi…

I was fortunate to read small poems of subhadrakumari chauhan…..

I was fortunate to hear Jagjit singh, Pankaj Udhas, Aabida begum in one life time….

I was fortunate to visit Taj Mahal, haji ali, omkareshwar, Mahakaleshwar in one life time only…

I was fortunate to met many unforgettable peoples in my life…

I was fortunate to survive many crucial and breathtaking moments in life….

Thanks god….thank to choose me….thank to make me feel that my glass is half filled….

My collection of Nida Fazli-2

देखा गया हूँ मैं कभी सोचा गया हूँ मैं
अपनी नज़र में आप तमाशा रहा हूँ मैं

मुझसे मुझे निकाल के पत्थर बना दिया
जब मैं नहीं रहा हूँ तो पूजा गया हूँ मैं

मैं मौसमों के जाल में जकड़ा हुआ दरख़्त
उगने के साथ-साथ बिखरता रहा हूँ मैं

ऊपर के चेहरे-मोहरे से धोखा न खाइए
मेरी तलाश कीजिए, गुम हो गया हूँ मैं

My collection of Nida Fazli-1

सिखा देती है चलना ठोकरें भी राहगीरों को
कोई रास्ता सदा दुशवार हो ऐसा नहीं होता

कहीं तो कोई होगा जिसको अपनी भी ज़रूरत हो
हरेक बाज़ी में दिल की हार हो ऐसा नहीं होता

Dushyant Kumar-2

इस नदी की धार में ठंडी हवा आती तो है,
नाव जर्जर ही सही, लहरों से टकराती तो है।

एक चिनगारी कही से ढूँढ लाओ दोस्तों,
इस दिए में तेल से भीगी हुई बाती तो है।

एक खंडहर के हृदय-सी, एक जंगली फूल-सी,
आदमी की पीर गूंगी ही सही, गाती तो है।

एक चादर साँझ ने सारे नगर पर डाल दी,
यह अंधेरे की सड़क उस भोर तक जाती तो है।

निर्वचन मैदान में लेटी हुई है जो नदी,
पत्थरों से, ओट में जा-जाके बतियाती तो है।

दुख नहीं कोई कि अब उपलब्धियों के नाम पर,
और कुछ हो या न हो, आकाश-सी छाती तो है।

Dushyant Kumar-1

कहाँ तो तय था चराग़ाँ हर एक घर के लिये
कहाँ चराग़ मयस्सर नहीं शहर के लिये

यहाँ दरख़्तों के साये में धूप लगती है
चलो यहाँ से चले और उम्र भर के लिये

न हो क़मीज़ तो घुटनों से पेट ढक लेंगे
ये लोग कितने मुनासिब हैं इस सफ़र के लिये

ख़ुदा नहीं न सही आदमी का ख़्वाब सही
कोई हसीन नज़ारा तो है नज़र के लिये

वो मुतमइन हैं कि पत्थर पिघल नहीं सकता
मैं बेक़रार हूँ आवाज़ में असर के लिये

जियें तो अपने बग़ीचे में गुलमोहर के तले
मरें तो ग़ैर की गलियों में गुलमोहर के लिये

Could have been better.....

One day i was writing review of god's performance in my life and at that same moment,god was writing abt my performance.....n we just have 1 line common....."IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER".......
God was not happy with my comments so he send it back 2 me 4 reconsideration and said "it may harm my image in public...plz b little lenient"...so i give a thought to my whole life and write.."thanks god 4 everything...IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE TOO"....n god was smiling....

Maverick may….

My roommate told me that now may is over so please update the calendar. I was going to change month suddenly I feel as if someone is smiling over me yes it was month may. In fact “the month may”.

I started thinking about this month and suddenly felt a severe chill in my body. What a month this was. It gave me some lifelong remembering experience.

I can’t forget the way this month was started. I was coming back from a temple and suddenly in AC bus I feel like suffocated and come out of it though driver wasn’t allowing this before proper stop and I told him that I can’t wait for next stop, then only he allow me to go out. Within seconds, I started vomiting and within next few seconds from a normal healthy person to I have been transformed in to a hardly-able-to stand guy and I collapsed on the bench of a nearby shop. Later on my room-mate took me to a weird doctor who after 1-2 basic questions ask me that I have done sex or not. I am still trying to understand the significance of that question. At that time I was not realizing this journey to dr was start of a chain of events which will drastically affect my thought process.

After 1-2 days I found myself rushing in fortis hospital(as they says follow the standard) for my blood test and other reports. I never realize that I have to expense a lot to know my own body. All this I was suffering normally till the moment dr declared the I am in serious state and I need to get admit. When I share this news with my roommates they react as if I am a low caste-severely affected patient of cancer and I just have 1-2 days in this world. They suggest me to go to home as early a possible and this was the first time I realize that I can even die(I guess this is what is called atmospheric pressure). By considering the severity of situation, I decided to go home and that too by flight. I booked a flight of 4:30 am and reached airport at 4 am to know that flight is cancelled. Then they transfer us to a 7:30 am flight. Unfortunately they boarded me in wrong bus and I ended up in delhi’s flight. When I realize this I rushed back to talk to officials who angrily inform me that I missed(is it the proper word?) the flight and I am only to blame. Later on I got a flight to indore at 12:00PM but for that I have to fight like hell and by the time I was not even able to stand.

Then trip from indore to Bhopal in sumo. Then in auto till Bhopal station. In mid way that auto met an accident and I cannot forget the look in the eyes of auto driver when I told him to not to waste any more time and lets continue our journey despite having a torn jeans and bruised knee(see a desperate man can do disparate things). Once I reached station and met my father I felt relief. Later till one month I have to go from 1 dr to other, from 1 ojha to other for this jaundice. Me and my father were following every single mouth of bina. The worst part of jaundice is all the precautionary food that I have to have for almost a month. Meanwhile I got one last chance to fulfill my dream and get some hope in life, just to discover that it was a nightmare. One important thing which I learn during this period of pain and suffering that only your family will stand for you in your dark hours. I spend a considerable part of my life living for friends, relatives, their friends and their relatives but all seems waste finally. I lost few good friends in this month (not physically but mentally). Though in the later part of may I do feel some relax, met with vinay-vaibhav-nishant unexpectedly, met my team members. All in all, month may was full of unexpected events. It was a total roller costar ride. God again gave me message that he is “only” omnipotent out of us.

Conclusively I must say that may you were maverick and you made me same…..