My world my people......

Almost 2 year ago I read “atlas shrugged” and at the same moment this idea clicked in my mind that if I have to make a world of mine with my people then how it will be structured? What will be the qualities of the peoples that make them suitable to come in that world or I should say in my world. So in this blog I am going to discuss about some such persons in chronological order as I can’t divide them on priority wise who have this capability to come in my world.

(1) Niraj: During my stay in khirkiya from KG-I to 4^th , Niraj was consistent topper and I was inconsistent 2^nd topper. He was my 1^st best friend as far as my memory goes. I know it sound weird to call someone as “1^st best friend” but at that time things were like this. After I left khirkiya, we were in touch through letters though content wise all these letters were poor but feeling wise they were rich. Once we got mobile phones , we came in regular touch and it’s a pleasure feeling that even now we are in regular touch.

(2) Banti : banti was another friend in khirkiya but at that time we were just colony-friends. We remain in touch by little bit information’s from here and there about each other. But when after my m tech I came back to bhopal ,it was the quality time I spend with him. I shared a very different kind of friendliness with him(we are not gay mind it!!). I never hesitate to discuss anything with him. The thing I like most about him is fact that if he don’t like something, he will never ever go for it. One of his best quality is that he can laugh on himself. He is the guy who know most of dirty secrets.

Me , niraj and banti knew each other from last 25 years(now don’t guess my age please) and we are still in touch.

(3) Ashok: I met this guy when I was in 11^th , and I was the one who motivate him to do engg. (best step in his career till date as he believes ). Till his marriage he was my only friend in Bina (my home town) and though we didn’t talk much these days but when we talk it is quality conversation. Bina is a small town so whenever he has to smoke or drink(sorry ashok!!), then he always took me with him to go away from city. Though academically we were opposite but these things never came between us.

(4) Upendra: My room-mate for almost 3.5 years and always a close friend. The things which I admire about him most is his originality of thoughts. He was a decent person with a decent humor. He was a guy with whom you always like to talk on any topic and you will always get good conversations. I always love to debate with him.

(5) Vikrant: My friend from GEC. From outside, vikrant was a fun loving, prank making person, but from inside he was a good observer, a hard working guy and “usually remain to himself” kind of guy.

(6) Pankaj: Another friend from GEC and my current room-mate in Mumbai. Panku is a blanaced emotional and practical person. We usually discuss a lot on every topic of this world ranging from cricket to avtar’s. I respect him as a person as he really did lot of hard work in his life. Best part about him is that he never complains about problems rather focus more on solution. So he should be another person to book a seat in my world.

(7) Smita: a sis, a friend and a great human being. Decency is integral part of her character. it’s the ease of communication and honesty that binds us together even after these many years.

8)
(8) Akash : akash or should I say akku da. I do remember all the time I spend with him or his family. A family with full of big hearted and magnanimous people. I do remember 1 incident when I was having some fever. I went to his home and his mom force me to stay there and gave medicine, kadha(a sort of medical tea). On dashera we used to go to his home and his grand father and mother used to give us 5-10 rs as rituals of dashera. Though we are not communicating much these days but I know I am just 1 call away from my friend.

(9) Jayant : a complete all rounder. A great friend and a cool and hard working guy. We have shared lots of good moments together. Though right now we are not aware of each other’s where about but I know whenever we’ll meet, we need not to think about topics to discuss.

(10) Pratiksha : a very close friend till date. Prati is someone who knew me very closely. She knew all my faults and witnessed all kind of my moods and all this make her more close friend. She had seen me different times getting out from all interviews, getting down with injuries, illness and still she always stands for me.

(11) Rashmi- anshul : my friends in Gwalior. Though they both deserve to get separate discussion in this blog but the problem is that we three are almost in-separable , if one of us is discussing the old time you have to mention other two. These two were the only girls I met in my life with class sense of humor. We were such good friends that we used to laugh on anything or on any of us. Even after these many years, all those moments made me smile.

(12) Kaushik- sarika-bhanu-mamta: a group of my close friends in IIITM. Together we all shared lots of sweet, funny and heart breaking moments. We knew very secrets of each other. Kaushik did a lot to improve my self confidence and whatever I am today, some credit goes to him. The good thing about bhanu and mamta was purity of their heart and the fact that they never afraid to cry in front of us if they are feeling like so. Sarika has shared a good understanding with me and I don’t remember that at any instance our thoughts go against each other. Together we have witnessed very tough moments. I know despite distances, she will always be an integral part of me as a friend.

(13) Tushar –ankit: At one time these two were best friends of each other and I was a close one of both. We 3 have our own philosophies and principles and whether we like each other’s way of living life or not ,we always respect each other. Me and tushar have good understanding of each other’s humor and when in good mood, we can laugh on anything of this world include ourselves, god, girls and our past failures . Ankit is a total “no nonsense” person and at times I love to hear him.

(14) Vinay- Nishant- Vaibhav: though I have written enough about all 3 in some of my previous blogs but still they deserve few lines. Vinay is very important person in my life. The good thing about vinay is that I never hesitates to discuss anything with him and he always come up with best possible solution. He taught me how to laugh on yourself. He is a best friend till date. Vaibhav and nishant are also very close to me. The moments and the understanding we shared in Ahmadabad were all precious.

(15) Balraj: a friend of nsn. A hard working guy. He is man with all basic qualities like truth, love for family and commitment to job. He always told me that when you are in trouble just follow the basic principles of life.

(16) Pranav: I met him in Rajkot. My tenure in Rajkot was undoubtedly one of the worst phase of my life but friends like him made it memorable. I never feel that I am an outsider in Rajkot. He is man with golden heart.

(17) Rahul Rathore: basically rathore was my reason to write this blog. I will not say that we are very close friends of each other as we hardly knew each other’s deep secrets ,but if you consider hobbies, interests, likes then we have much things in common. We always like to discuss good movies, books, directors, social problems, art exhibitions(all things which considered as bore in normal society). Whenever one of us finished some good book or good movie we like to share between us. I know right now he is little struggling but I have faith in his capabilities and I know one day he will be a shining star.

(18) Bhaskar sir: my senior in GEC, teacher in GEC and now a mentor. A great motivator and he was the one who motivates me to write. I like his anger for all the wrong goings in society. Principally I love to be like him.

(19) Ramesh sir: a trainer in NSN. A simply awesome guy. Technically he is a solid rock and very much senior guy but when he will talk to you he will always come at your level and you will feel as if you are talking to a good colleague. He will listen even smallest of your problems with full enthusiasm. Someday I will write a full blog on this but as of now just want to conclude in these 3-4 lines.

(20) Atul sharma: Atul was my junior in GEC and he was the person who motivate me to prepare for PSU's. He was the first guy who talk to me about life,destiny sort of things and suggest me to read "alchemist" which changed the way of my thinking. i don't know where are you these days atul,but i know where -ever you are,you must be motivating people.

(21) Richa chhalotre: a friend from last 5 years. though our friendship has seen many up-downs but end of the day we stand together as friends. We have good understanding between us and we always felt kind of relax after talking to each other. It is the ease of communication between us that bind us together.I wish her all the good luck for her coming days.

PS: The list is not in order of priority rather it’s in chronological order. If some day I will make my own world these will be the people and qualities that I love to see in my world.

I have seen many up and downs in my life and witnessed many heart breaking moments but when I got such people in my life then I feel that still got best of the deal.

Thanks life for giving me all such people.

sarfaroshi.....

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil me hai,
dekhna hai jor kitna baju-e-qatil me hai...
waqt aane de bata denge tujhe e asma,
hum abhi se kya bataye kya hamare dil me hai...
oh re bismil kash aate aaj tum hindustan,
dekhte ki mulk sara kya tashan mahfil me hai....
Aajj ka launda ye kahta hum to bismil thak gaye,
apni ajadi to bhaiya laundiya k dil me hai....
AAj k jalson me bismil ek gunga ga raha,
or behron ka rela naachat mahfil me hai....
haath ki khadi banane ka jamana lad gaya,
Aaj to chaddi bhi silti englishon ki mill me hai.....
PS: i got a msg on my phone..i like it instantly and posting it 2 my blog...

Excuse me.....

Who m I??

what I want from life???

These were some of the basic questions I was asking from myself from years….never get the right answers…and I know that to find the answers of some of such basic questions and to grow up in a competitive world, one needs to take a break at regular interval and to self examine the things going around him from a neutral- emotion less point of view.

I also took many breaks and try to find the answers of some the question which were bothering me. Now I realized I really give things a break As again I am at a point of life when questions are many at every front. Some social responsibilities are lying ahead, some weaknesses of my own personality, and the question to measure ourselves on to the scale of this world. I know it does not matter how much a philosopher or asocial u are , sooner or later you have to judge yourself on some of the worldly measures also.

I spend many years of my life to make people happy, to live for family and friends. Enjoy doing my responsibilities but but but…

Now I really want to know who I am actually?

What I actually want?

Till now I did enough to remember as a good son or good friend or decent human being but is that enough?

No really….

There is one more fight everyone is fighting to prove our self on worldly measures, as ayan rand says: only the strong has the right to survive.

I want to survive. I want to prove myself on a completely different front. I know many of you will not be agree with you but now it will not matter for me.

2-3 days ago I got 1 sms: if you wants to fly with eagle don’t practice with duck…..

And that justify it….

I am going for a makeover. A make over which is due on personal matters, character and social relations.

I live enough to be “a social animal” , now I wants to live like a “maverick”…I wants to live without prejudice, without commitments, without promises. I wants to taste a mental freedom. I promise you guys that soon I’ll discover the new arvind and I will not be able to get, I will create one….

Let’s get in to this fight and as they said: may the best man survive.

I will be back soon till then please excuse me……..

PS: My last blog “thanks maa” drained me completely. After that I try to write many times but just did not get “that” mentality. So I have decided to take a break and it’s just the announcement of that break. Many people will not understand this blog as it’s the picture of my mind. And I know this blog is not uniform but then whose mind is uniform anyway?

Thanks maa...

It was evening of 31^st December; I was thinking how to make my 1^st January special. I have different options like to go in a bar with clg friends, to go 4 some trip (which was on top of priority) or to just sit in the room and have some retrospect. I was just comparing my priorities when I got a call from ankit.

He said tomorrow we are going to an orphanage.

I said what?

He said firmly I am telling you not asking.

With some heavy mind I said ok.

To go in an orphanage on 1^st jan was nowhere in my priority list and I hate it when I have to follow somebody, anyway for the sake of ankit’s friendship I decided to go there.

On the way to my journey I was trying to visualize an orphanage as per my imagination which was based on novels and movies. After a journey of 45 mins we reached there and then the reality hits me back. I met the manager and founder of that orphanage. He was a simple guy and was talking in English. He told us that how he had started this orphanage from 2 kids and 10000 rupees. He told us that he is really unable to provide good lodging and schooling facilities to them. He told us strictly not to take any photo and no to speak anything in front of these kids as they are very sensitive and some of them don’t even know their age, so our questions may arise their curiosity. I was trying to grasp these things when he took us between kids. They were seated randomly on the ground. When they saw us some of them trying to come towards us. Some of them were physically challenged, some mentally little slow but all of them were very enthusiastic to meet us. Some of them were holding our hands and showing us their books, toys, rooms. Some of them were kissing us and wishing for x-mas and New Year. There were kids of 6 months of age to 18 years but you cant guess their age by their physical condition. It was so touching the way they were expressing themselves. The manager told us their stories that how he find some of them in dustbin or outside some hospital or near bus stand or on railway track. I have always considered myself and ankit as emotionally very strong but that part of life really make us cry within myself. For some moments I was absent from the world. I always feel that I could have done little better in life if born and brought up in little better atmosphere but at that moment I was just cursing myself that what an asshole I was to complain about life. These kids don’t have anything they deserve (left the question of desires). I was comparing myself to them and was feeling strange that I have 2 hands and legs which are working fine as compare to some of them. I have a brain that is in my control as compare to some of them. I have a future, a family, and few friends and more importantly I have a full name. Yes I have an identity.

My complains were based around health, promotion, money while they have complains about basic needs of life like; to meet their parents, to get some love in life, to join the main stream society, to have family, to have friends.

On our way back none of us was speaking anything. It may be due to some kind of guilt or some kind of frustration or because of hatred to society for being so cruel to them.

I was asking a question to myself that what their faults to have a life like hell were. I could have been at their place. So now this my responsibility to put some color in their otherwise colorless life. This I will do not to be free of my guilt but because I want to do it, because this world is a beautiful place and every human being have equal right to realize the beauty of it, Its everybody’s basic right to have a family, to love some one and to be loved.

By the way thanks ankit for this trip…

Thanx god to make me realize my responsibilities…

Thanx papa to give me an identity and

Thanks ma for all your self less love and care…

Happy New Year....

DEAR ALL,

EVERY SECOND, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY,

EVERY WEEK, EVERY MONTH, EVERY YEAR IS

SPECIAL FOR EVERYONE.BUT ALWAYS THE BEGINNING OF

A NEW YEAR IS SOMETHING SPECIAL TO BEGIN

WITH FORGIVE, FORGET,RESOLVE,LOVE AND HUG WITH

MANKIND.

AS THE YEAR PASSED THE WORLD HAS DEVELOPED

IMMENSELY IN MULTIPLES WITH DIFFERENT CASTE ,

RELIGION ,REGIONS AND FACILITIES BUT FORGOT TO

RETAIN LOVE,SINCERITY,PROSPERITY AND MANKIND.


HENCE I MAKE A CRUEL DEMAND FROM ONE AND ALL

TO SPEND AN HOUR A DAY TO SPREAD MANKIND,LOVE

AND GET LOVED FOR A BETTER TODAY FOR SELF AND

A WONDERFUL AND PROSPEROUS TOMORROW FOR

YOUR CHILDREN.

Wishing you all

A WONDERFUL
NEW YEAR l

Alvida 2010.....

When you will read this blog, year 2010 will be taking its last few breaths and 2011 will be warming up. For our nation as well as for me personally year 2010 was a big one. Here I’m more concerned about my pain and gain theory rather then nation’s problems.

This year was one of the most important years of my life. If I will say it was a decisive year then I will not be wrong either. At personal, professional and emotional front it was best year till date.

There were many breathtaking moments, many memorable encounters…I am going to discuss all of them in chronological order.

There were many places where I visit.

Even the start of this year was very special as I went to visit golden temple on 1^st Jan with NSN friends. That trip was brilliant. I went Wagha border and jaliyawala bagh, about which otherwise I have heard only in old stories.

At the start of this year I was in gurgaon. In gurgaon only I met Vinay and Balraj. Though I knew vinay and balraj from NSN starting days but its gurgoan days which brought us closer, So close that we have spend lots of unforgettable moments together. Both are now part of my heart and Vinay is now my best friend. Vinay is one such friend for whom I can feel proud on myself. After few memorable days of gurgaon, our training with NSN was over and we have to move our locations. I can’t forget that day (2^nd Feb.) when people were crying like kids.

I got Gujarat and went to Ahmadabad. Here I got my first project (2G Uninor) and met Mr swapnil Mistry. Mistry sir was my first boss and always politically correct guy. I have learnt a lot from him. Later in Ahmadabad only I met Vaibhav and Nishant. We four (these 2, me and vinay) became room mates and spent some quality time together. I can never ever forget those funny moments in my whole life. While Vaibhav was very sophisticated and practical guy, Nishant was totally fun loving animal.

After leaving Ahmedabad, I went to Rajkot. I spend almost 5-6 months and all this time was full of loneliness apart from the time I spend with Pranav. Rajkot taught me how to live life alone and how to enjoy your loneliness. In Rajkot I came to know kathiyawadi culture and get a chance to know rural Gujarat which was pleasant. This loneliness brings a writer, blogger and traveler out of me. With Pranav and other friends I have visited many places like deev, somnath, gir, tulsi shyam and many more. In Rajkot I got friends like Jay, Heeral, Ramij, Deepak, Vivek and Rajiv.

Rajiv was a wild card entry in my life but soon we became friends. In Rajkot only I met few old friends Niraj, chandna and Abhishek. Niraj was a childhood friend and it was very special to have him near to me. Abhisehk and I was perfect partner for “best restaurant hunting mission” and together we explored many restaurants. Visit of Chanda to Rajkot was never being less memorable.

I was in “thoda hai thode ki jarurat hai” mode in Rajkot when I get a call to join CARE team and it was like miracle. It came to me as if god responds to all prayers.

I joined care team and apart from a good Profile, money and respect, it gave me a chance to re-join a losing battle. A battle which otherwise I was about to lose with a huge difference.

Anyways after coming to care I got a chance to visited few places and met few old friends which otherwise I never have even dreamt.

First I went to Bangalore and met ankit (after 1.5 yrs), smita (after 2-3 yrs), sarika(1 yr), vikrant (2.5 yrs),ashwin (3 yrs).

And ya I met and talk to Ashwini Patankar, an old friend of graduation days with whom I talk after almost 3-4 years.

I get to know Naveed which was a colleague in college and is a friend now.

After Bangalore I went to Mohali-chandigarh and Amabala. I had seen rock garden, Sukna Lake there and met Balraj there. I also patch up with avneet whom I had some arguments earlier and we were not talking from a considerable time.

I went to UP west and met some very practical people there. I had visited taj mahal and Red fort also.

For family too this year was special as construction work of my home is over this year. My sister got married this year. And in her marriage I met almost all my relatives.

In the middle of all these moments how can I forget the moment I spent with Rahul Rathore and Arti. While I got a friend and a decent human being like rahul in Gujarat, I had also spent some class moments with arti.

So finally this year is going…

I am happy and sad…..

Good bye 2010…..

And thanks for everything you give to me….

Do i need a break?

I am in Bangalore from last 7 days now…and its my 2^nd trip to place, before this I was in agra, meerut, mohali and many other cities..After joining NSN,care Team I am a free bird, who is checking the dimensions of sky. I am visiting many cities. I am discovering new places. I am meeting friends whom actually I had given a mental farewell.

When I’m meeting with old friends I am noticing something which is bothering me…its their way of living life…when in college they were full of life, full of energy, full of jokes…now some of them are just living their life waiting for weekends. In the middle of this they are working like machines…Some people are just busy with tv, face book, laptops…that’s it….either they don’t know who they were or they don’t want know….they have lost all their energy..

Every one is depressed, tensed. Everyone is tired mentally. It seems as if they are in loop, they want to get out of this but did not have courage to break the damn door…deep in their heart they know that they are just pawns of their habits, their liking, their way of living….but they are so happy in this mirage that any knock seems intrusion to them…

When we were in college, we don’t have money but freedom….we follows our own philosophies, principles….but now where are we going??

Its like racing a gym cycle, where you are walking and running but actually you are not going anywhere….

Is this the kind of life I want for myself??

Is this the kind of life for which I work hard for 1 quarter of my life?

Is this what they called as L I F E?

I want to live my life not just want to pass it??

Will all these responsibilities and in-securities turn out me in to machine some day….??

What I suppose to do in order not to get in this trap of life??

Do I need a mental, physical and emotional break?

I need answers……