Oct 27, 2013

अँधेरे चारों तरफ़ (राहत इन्दौरी)

अँधेरे चारों तरफ़ सायं-सायं करने लगे
चिराग़ हाथ उठाकर दुआएँ करने लगे

तरक़्क़ी कर गए बीमारियों के सौदागर
ये सब मरीज़ हैं जो अब दवाएँ करने लगे

लहूलोहान पड़ा था ज़मीं पे इक सूरज
परिन्दे अपने परों से हवाएँ करने लगे

ज़मीं पे आ गए आँखों से टूट कर आँसू
बुरी ख़बर है फ़रिश्ते ख़ताएँ करने लगे

झुलस रहे हैं यहाँ छाँव बाँटने वाले
वो धूप है कि शजर इलतिजाएँ करने लगे

अजीब रंग था मजलिस का, ख़ूब महफ़िल थी
सफ़ेद पोश उठे काएँ-काएँ करने लगे

लोग हर मोड़ पे (राहत इन्दौरी)

लोग हर मोड़ पे रुक-रुक के संभलते क्यों हैं
इतना डरते हैं तो फिर घर से निकलते क्यों हैं

मैं न जुगनू हूँ, दिया हूँ न कोई तारा हूँ
रोशनी वाले मेरे नाम से जलते क्यों हैं

नींद से मेरा त'अल्लुक़ ही नहीं बरसों से
ख्वाब आ आ के मेरी छत पे टहलते क्यों हैं

मोड़ होता है जवानी का संभलने के लिए
और सब लोग यहीं आके फिसलते क्यों हैं

पुराने शहरों के मंज़र निकलने लगते हैं (राहत इन्दौरी)

पुराने शहरों के मंज़र निकलने लगते हैं
ज़मीं जहाँ भी खुले घर निकलने लगते हैं

मैं खोलता हूँ सदफ़ मोतियों के चक्कर में
मगर यहाँ भी समन्दर निकलने लगते हैं

हसीन लगते हैं जाड़ों में सुबह के मंज़र
सितारे धूप पहनकर निकलने लगते हैं

बुरे दिनों से बचाना मुझे मेरे मौला
क़रीबी दोस्त भी बचकर निकलने लगते हैं

बुलन्दियों का तसव्वुर भी ख़ूब होता है
कभी कभी तो मेरे पर निकलने लगते हैं

अगर ख़्याल भी आए कि तुझको ख़त लिक्खूँ
तो घोंसलों से कबूतर निकलने लगते हैं

उँगलियाँ यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो (राहत इन्दौरी)

उँगलियाँ यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो 
खर्च करने से पहले कमाया करो
 

ज़िन्दगी क्या है खुद ही समझ जाओगे
बारिशों में पतंगें उड़ाया करो

दोस्तों से मुलाक़ात के नाम पर
 
नीम की पत्तियों को चबाया करो
 

शाम के बाद जब तुम सहर देख लो
 
कुछ फ़क़ीरों को खाना खिलाया करो
 

अपने सीने में दो गज़ ज़मीं बाँधकर
 
आसमानों का ज़र्फ़ आज़माया करो

चाँद सूरज कहाँ, अपनी मंज़िल कहाँ
ऐसे वैसों को मुँह मत लगाया करो

Sep 29, 2013

Murphy's law on girls (2)

(1)  Virginity is not dignity... it’s just lack of opportunity.
(2) Those who know using girls go to top........those at bottom are used by gals.
(3) Being with Girls are like ordering food in a hotel....After you place the order......you look at the next table and you would think to yourself...Damn I should have ordered that.......
(4) "A beautiful girl always keeps an ugly bitch as her friend to make herself feel better"
result-
1." the ugly bitch will throw more attitude than the beautiful girl".
2."The ugly bitch gets laid first".
(5) It’s hard to wait for the right girl when all the wrong ones are so damn hot.
(6) Girls will always walk around or talk in groups, making them arrogantly unapproachable!
(7) Girls will talk with you less & judge you behind your back more!
(8) The hot girl u like will always casually talks to all your friends & not u!!!
(9) Girls are always right, even when they're not right - so you'd better not argue.
(10) The thing you hate the most about your gf will be repeated by her the maximum times,so much so that finally u got to tell her so... and then she fights for not telling this for so long!!!!
(11) If you tell her that you love her....she will take it as a joke and never believe you but if you jokingly tell her, ever that you hate her...she will remember that forever and keep reminding you in any argument.
(12) Even the worst girl has minimum ten guys behind her.
(13) When a girl says "forget it!!!" it means "Wait till i get a chance".
(14) Men give long explanation to his gf, but the gal beats it by tears.
(15) All other gals are beautiful than your gf.
(16) The day we r going to get lucky with a girl is the day she gets her periods.
(17) The next door girl falls for you only when her father is to get transferred by the next week.
(18) Your Girls best friend is always a guy.
(19) Good girls always end up falling for bad boys.
(20) Nice girls finish last!!!!!
(21) The girl interested in your attire will never be interested in the inner one.
(22) If anything can go wrong in asking a girl out, then it will!!
(23) If a girl is staring hard at you, please check if there's a clock behind you, before getting all happy about it.
(24) A girl can be anything she wants, but her man becomes nothing after she haunts.
(25)No talent, no MBA in this world will stop a hot girl in your office beat you for that promotion.
(26) When a hot girl expresses interest in you, either you are rich and you don't know or your just plain dumb.
(27) Your girlfriend’s friend is your God, worship her.
(28) If you just bad mouthed about a guy to your girlfriend and he is your girlfriend's friend's classmate's cousin's neighbor's 8th son then he will know.
(29) If you think good looking ones fall during happier times..Never.They fall easily when they in lowest point in their life.
(30) Good looking ones aren't god looking ones!
(31) If your girlfriend calls u and tells u 'we need 2 talks' then be sure that she'll be dumping u!!!
(32) If a girl has to dump a guy, she will.
(33) If a guy gets dumped by the girl, he knew it well before.
(34) A girl in hand needs gift to do it, a girl in asylum needs money to do it. Either ones are proportional.
(35) There is no such thing as unconditional love.......there is always a asterisk at end of it (love*)
(36) Fuck a girl, she'll love u.Love a girl and she'll fuck u.
(37) the more a guy shows his affection to a girl, the more she doubts him.
(38) Best way to remember your GF's B'day is to forget once.
(39) your gf will always be free for movie, wen u have an exam or your wallet is empty.
(40) When you ignore a girl, She keeps away from you..,
Cos you ignore her.
When you pay attention to her, She keeps away from you..,
because you pay attention to her.
When you neither ignore nor pay attention to her, she still keeps away from you
because you are neither doing both.
(41) If you see a girl who is
- clever, cool and great looking (or)
- dumb, stupid and great looking (or )
- clever, bright and ugly (or)
-dumb, stupid and ugly....
any one of the above four;
they are all married / or they have a boyfriend.
(42) "It’s totally true that unlike men different girls look for different things in men... some go for $, some Rs. and some for Pounds”.
(43) "The more innocent a girl looks chances are that more rude she is"
(44) Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days n never dies.

Murphy's law on girls (1)

(1)       The most gorgeous girls always go to the worst lookers in town.
(2)        All the beautiful girls have boyfriends that cannot be called boys.
(3)       The more the makeup, worse the looks...
(4)       All the good ones are taken, If the person isn't taken, there is a reason.
(5)        Girls have boyfriends who are champoos to every other boy but to girls they are best.
(6)        If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(7)       The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(8)       Girls always want to discuss the relationship. But men will never understand them.
(9)      Beauty x Brain x Availability = constant.
(10)    Virginity can be cured!!!!
(11)   Nothing improves with age.
(12)   If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too. She will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed.
(13)   The number of nice of women is directly proportional to the number of jerks making generalizations about them.
(14)    Geography & History are inversely proportional. If a girl has a good geography, she'll have a bad history and if she has a good history, then she'll obviously have a bad geography.
(15)    Girls don’t follow progressive evolution as given by Darwin, that’s probably why virgins are still born.
(16)     As soon as you ask a girl for a dance, a better looking girl passes by u n d best ones r already on d dance floor.
(17)    Theory of relativity......
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
corollary....
The more u run away from a girl(worst looking)...the more she comes closer to u.

(18)    The more you want to talk to a girl, the more she will be found with her best friends.
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend.

(19)   The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
(20)    The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. Have a bad hair day

(21)    How much beautiful or extremely attractive a girl is, there is someone somewhere who is gonna be tired of screwing her!!!
(22)   The more beautiful the girl is the more wreck less is her father.
(23) Virginity is not a Dignity; it’s a lack of Opportunity!!
(24) The number of scraps you get from a b'ful girl is always inversely proportional to the scraps you send her.
(25) If both a guy and a girl love each other and agree for a marriage, the girl will always have a father who will be trying to spoil that marriage.
(26) The first thing girls do before expressing anger, sorrow or happiness is to cry.
(27) For a girl it’s easy to be a very good friend but it can take age’s t o to for her to love you.
(28) She will always forgive you when it’s her mistake and she will kill you if it’s your mistake.
(29) If you think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(30) The nicer she is...the quicker you will be dumped!!!!!
(31) "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would always be in your college."
(32) The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(33) The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
(34) The more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u.
(35) Women are like toilets...the best ones are already occupied and the remaining are full of shit!!!
(36) When you get to visit your gal's house seeking the best opportunity, she will get a call from her friend n start chatting n u will be left bored.
(37) The world is heavily partial to the combination of good brains and vagina...though the combination is rare.
(38) The prettiest faces are always with the strongest boyfriends.
(39) Pretty gals aren’t free, and the free ones aren’t pretty.
(40) The guys always spend more than the girls.
(41) If a girl is smart the boyfriend is dumb.
(42) Your ideal match who has every characteristic you wanted in a girl is already committed to some asshole from god knows where and will tell you that you are going to find a better girl than her when she is already the ideal in every way.
(43) Girls always talk 2 guys with whom none of d boys in boys-hostel talk.
(44) Just when you decide that you will forget her, she is in front of u and the same loop starts all over again.
(45) The smarter you try to act in front of the one you care about, the dumber you look.
(46) When you are about to confess your love... she confesses hers...[for someone else...]
(47) Best response from a girl after proposed by a guy - "I never saw u that way".
(48) The best girl in class will fall for a senior and when you become a senior yourself, the best junior is already engaged.
(49) Girls will never admit their real age and when they do its already too late.
(50) If you happen to be her best friend then you are most likely to meet her best-est friend soon.
(51) More the money, more the number of girls!!!
(52) The better the guy,the lesser attractive the girls find him.
(53) All the good ones are already taken.

Sep 28, 2013

Murphy's Law for guys

1.    Guys who you really like will never notice it. But guys who you don’t even care about will think you are after them.
2.  Any guy who gets along well with your girlfriend but not you is a loser or an asshole.
3.    Really intelligent guys are always chased by Good Looking (but basically dickhead) Girls.
4.     A guy will find smoking with his guy friends 'cool' but gals smoking is 'characterless'.
5.    "Girls who are really beautiful will have 0% arrogance, but ones who are ugly are the ones who think too highly of themselves and feel they are the most beautiful in the .
6.     They always have a huge appetite! Even the skinniest guy will hog without complaining even if the food is awful!

7.  All the eligible guys in this world are taken, married, gay or dead!
8.    Ignoring is also the best way to attract attention!
9.    If anything can go wrong it will, and when it does, the woman will get the blame.
10. The more a guy has love for a chick, the closer she will get to someone else.
11.  Every guy thinks he is better than the guy with whom the girl is.
12.  No matter how hard you had to try to get a date, when you finally do find someone, lots of women suddenly find you very attractive and you've got to beat them away.
13.  If you think a guy is your good friend before hooking up, chances are you won't see eye to eye on any issue after hooking up.
14.  Make up is inversely proportionate to money.
15.  Guys will never admit they are lost and when they do they certainly won’t ask directions.
16.  The perfect guy will always have a major flaw in him after you have fallen for him.
17.  Women look for a reason to have sex; guys just look for a place!
18.  Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
19.  Guys are more talkative than girls, especially when the topic is about girls.
20.  If there are two or more boys are interested in you, and one of them is a jerk, only he will propose.
21.  The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
22.  The more a guy runs behind a girl before she accepts his proposal the more she will have to run behind him months after her acceptance.
23.  Not all men are fools,some stay bachelors.
24.  If some hot chick starts flirting with guys,they find it a moral obligation/responsibility to flirt back even if they have a girl friend.
25.  The hotness of the chick that we are flirting with is directly proportional to the ass-kicking that we get after this little flirting.
26.  No guy will ever accept his mistake if a girl points it out to him.
27.  Justifying ones folly is ones birth right but men are just more successful in the process!!
28.  Guys always will realize the woman of their dreams was right in front of them after the girl gets a boyfriend.
29.  Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
30.  Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
31.  Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
32.  Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
33.  No matter how much guys cuss, when gals do it, they feel offended.