Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp

1. “He who walks with the wise becomes wise.”As a wise parent, your objective is not simply to discuss but to demonstrate the freshness and vitality of life lived in integrity toward God and your family.
2. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
3. Some children grow up never knowing how much money Dad earns, while others know the checkbook balance on any given day. Some parents keep secrets from their children. Some children share secrets but not with their parents. Sometimes Mother and the children have secrets from Dad. Sometimes Dad and the children have secrets from Mom. Every family has established family boundaries. They may not be spoken or thought through, but they exist.
4. Good Education
5. Communication is Dialogue, Not Monologue
6. You must become a good listener. You will miss precious opportunities when you only half-listen to your children. The best way you can train your children to be active listeners is by actively listening to them.
7. If a child is going to honor his parents, it will be the result of two things: 1) The parent must train him to do so. 2) The parent must be honorable in his conduct and demeanor.
8. When you give reasons for your sin, you are not asking forgiveness, you are simply justifying your sin.
9. You must be a person of long-term vision.
10. Your relationship with your children must be honest. You must never give advice that suits your convenience or that spares you trouble or embarrassment. You must be parents who have demonstrated that you are not using your children in any way.
11. In adult relationships, it is possible to disagree with each other and remain friends. The same should be true in your relationships with your children. They don’t have to agree with you on everything in order to respect you.
12. Don’t waste your influence on things that don’t matter.