Murphy's law on girls (2)

(1)  Virginity is not dignity... it’s just lack of opportunity.
(2) Those who know using girls go to top........those at bottom are used by gals.

(3) Being with Girls are like ordering food in a hotel....After you place the order......you look at the next table and you would think to yourself...Damn I should have ordered that.......
(4) "A beautiful girl always keeps an ugly bitch as her friend to make herself feel better"
result-
1." the ugly bitch will throw more attitude than the beautiful girl".
2."The ugly bitch gets laid first".
(5) It’s hard to wait for the right girl when all the wrong ones are so damn hot.
(6) Girls will always walk around or talk in groups, making them arrogantly unapproachable!
(7) Girls will talk with you less & judge you behind your back more!
(8) The hot girl u like will always casually talks to all your friends & not u!!!
(9) Girls are always right, even when they're not right - so you'd better not argue.
(10) The thing you hate the most about your gf will be repeated by her the maximum times,so much so that finally u got to tell her so... and then she fights for not telling this for so long!!!!
(11) If you tell her that you love her....she will take it as a joke and never believe you but if you jokingly tell her, ever that you hate her...she will remember that forever and keep reminding you in any argument.
(12) Even the worst girl has minimum ten guys behind her.
(13) When a girl says "forget it!!!" it means "Wait till i get a chance".
(14) Men give long explanation to his gf, but the gal beats it by tears.
(15) All other gals are beautiful than your gf.
(16) The day we r going to get lucky with a girl is the day she gets her periods.
(17) The next door girl falls for you only when her father is to get transferred by the next week.
(18) Your Girls best friend is always a guy.
(19) Good girls always end up falling for bad boys.
(20) Nice girls finish last!!!!!
(21) The girl interested in your attire will never be interested in the inner one.
(22) If anything can go wrong in asking a girl out, then it will!!
(23) If a girl is staring hard at you, please check if there's a clock behind you, before getting all happy about it.
(24) A girl can be anything she wants, but her man becomes nothing after she haunts.
(25)No talent, no MBA in this world will stop a hot girl in your office beat you for that promotion.
(26) When a hot girl expresses interest in you, either you are rich and you don't know or your just plain dumb.
(27) Your girlfriend’s friend is your God, worship her.
(28) If you just bad mouthed about a guy to your girlfriend and he is your girlfriend's friend's classmate's cousin's neighbor's 8th son then he will know.
(29) If you think good looking ones fall during happier times..Never.They fall easily when they in lowest point in their life.
(30) Good looking ones aren't god looking ones!
(31) If your girlfriend calls u and tells u 'we need 2 talks' then be sure that she'll be dumping u!!!
(32) If a girl has to dump a guy, she will.
(33) If a guy gets dumped by the girl, he knew it well before.
(34) A girl in hand needs gift to do it, a girl in asylum needs money to do it. Either ones are proportional.
(35) There is no such thing as unconditional love.......there is always a asterisk at end of it (love*)
(36) Fuck a girl, she'll love u.Love a girl and she'll fuck u.
(37) the more a guy shows his affection to a girl, the more she doubts him.
(38) Best way to remember your GF's B'day is to forget once.
(39) your gf will always be free for movie, wen u have an exam or your wallet is empty.
(40) When you ignore a girl, She keeps away from you..,
Cos you ignore her.
When you pay attention to her, She keeps away from you..,
because you pay attention to her.
When you neither ignore nor pay attention to her, she still keeps away from you
because you are neither doing both.
(41) If you see a girl who is
- clever, cool and great looking (or)
- dumb, stupid and great looking (or )
- clever, bright and ugly (or)
-dumb, stupid and ugly....
any one of the above four;
they are all married / or they have a boyfriend.
(42) "It’s totally true that unlike men different girls look for different things in men... some go for $, some Rs. and some for Pounds”.
(43) "The more innocent a girl looks chances are that more rude she is"
(44) Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days n never dies.

Murphy's law on girls (1)

(1)       The most gorgeous girls always go to the worst lookers in town.

(2)        All the beautiful girls have boyfriends that cannot be called boys.
(3)       The more the makeup, worse the looks...
(4)       All the good ones are taken, If the person isn't taken, there is a reason.
(5)        Girls have boyfriends who are champoos to every other boy but to girls they are best.
(6)        If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(7)       The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(8)       Girls always want to discuss the relationship. But men will never understand them.
(9)      Beauty x Brain x Availability = constant.
(10)    Virginity can be cured!!!!
(11)   Nothing improves with age.
(12)   If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too. She will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed.
(13)   The number of nice of women is directly proportional to the number of jerks making generalizations about them.
(14)    Geography & History are inversely proportional. If a girl has a good geography, she'll have a bad history and if she has a good history, then she'll obviously have a bad geography.
(15)    Girls don’t follow progressive evolution as given by Darwin, that’s probably why virgins are still born.
(16)     As soon as you ask a girl for a dance, a better looking girl passes by u n d best ones r already on d dance floor.
(17)    Theory of relativity......
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
corollary....
The more u run away from a girl(worst looking)...the more she comes closer to u.
(18)    The more you want to talk to a girl, the more she will be found with her best friends.
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend.
(19)   The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
(20)    The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. Have a bad hair day
(21)    How much beautiful or extremely attractive a girl is, there is someone somewhere who is gonna be tired of screwing her!!!
(22)   The more beautiful the girl is the more wreck less is her father.
(23) Virginity is not a Dignity; it’s a lack of Opportunity!!
(24) The number of scraps you get from a b'ful girl is always inversely proportional to the scraps you send her.
(25) If both a guy and a girl love each other and agree for a marriage, the girl will always have a father who will be trying to spoil that marriage.
(26) The first thing girls do before expressing anger, sorrow or happiness is to cry.
(27) For a girl it’s easy to be a very good friend but it can take age’s t o to for her to love you.
(28) She will always forgive you when it’s her mistake and she will kill you if it’s your mistake.
(29) If you think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(30) The nicer she is...the quicker you will be dumped!!!!!
(31) "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would always be in your college."
(32) The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(33) The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
(34) The more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u.
(35) Women are like toilets...the best ones are already occupied and the remaining are full of shit!!!
(36) When you get to visit your gal's house seeking the best opportunity, she will get a call from her friend n start chatting n u will be left bored.
(37) The world is heavily partial to the combination of good brains and vagina...though the combination is rare.
(38) The prettiest faces are always with the strongest boyfriends.
(39) Pretty gals aren’t free, and the free ones aren’t pretty.
(40) The guys always spend more than the girls.
(41) If a girl is smart the boyfriend is dumb.
(42) Your ideal match who has every characteristic you wanted in a girl is already committed to some asshole from god knows where and will tell you that you are going to find a better girl than her when she is already the ideal in every way.
(43) Girls always talk 2 guys with whom none of d boys in boys-hostel talk.
(44) Just when you decide that you will forget her, she is in front of u and the same loop starts all over again.
(45) The smarter you try to act in front of the one you care about, the dumber you look.
(46) When you are about to confess your love... she confesses hers...[for someone else...]
(47) Best response from a girl after proposed by a guy - "I never saw u that way".
(48) The best girl in class will fall for a senior and when you become a senior yourself, the best junior is already engaged.
(49) Girls will never admit their real age and when they do its already too late.
(50) If you happen to be her best friend then you are most likely to meet her best-est friend soon.
(51) More the money, more the number of girls!!!
(52) The better the guy,the lesser attractive the girls find him.
(53) All the good ones are already taken.

Murphy's Law for guys

1.    Guys who you really like will never notice it. But guys who you don’t even care about will think you are after them.
2.  Any guy who gets along well with your girlfriend but not you is a loser or an asshole.
3.    Really intelligent guys are always chased by Good Looking (but basically dickhead) Girls.
4.     A guy will find smoking with his guy friends 'cool' but gals smoking is 'characterless'.
5.    "Girls who are really beautiful will have 0% arrogance, but ones who are ugly are the ones who think too highly of themselves and feel they are the most beautiful in the .
6.     They always have a huge appetite! Even the skinniest guy will hog without complaining even if the food is awful!
7.  All the eligible guys in this world are taken, married, gay or dead!

8.    Ignoring is also the best way to attract attention!
9.    If anything can go wrong it will, and when it does, the woman will get the blame.
10. The more a guy has love for a chick, the closer she will get to someone else.
11.  Every guy thinks he is better than the guy with whom the girl is.
12.  No matter how hard you had to try to get a date, when you finally do find someone, lots of women suddenly find you very attractive and you've got to beat them away.
13.  If you think a guy is your good friend before hooking up, chances are you won't see eye to eye on any issue after hooking up.
14.  Make up is inversely proportionate to money.
15.  Guys will never admit they are lost and when they do they certainly won’t ask directions.
16.  The perfect guy will always have a major flaw in him after you have fallen for him.
17.  Women look for a reason to have sex; guys just look for a place!
18.  Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
19.  Guys are more talkative than girls, especially when the topic is about girls.
20.  If there are two or more boys are interested in you, and one of them is a jerk, only he will propose.
21.  The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
22.  The more a guy runs behind a girl before she accepts his proposal the more she will have to run behind him months after her acceptance.
23.  Not all men are fools,some stay bachelors.
24.  If some hot chick starts flirting with guys,they find it a moral obligation/responsibility to flirt back even if they have a girl friend.
25.  The hotness of the chick that we are flirting with is directly proportional to the ass-kicking that we get after this little flirting.
26.  No guy will ever accept his mistake if a girl points it out to him.
27.  Justifying ones folly is ones birth right but men are just more successful in the process!!
28.  Guys always will realize the woman of their dreams was right in front of them after the girl gets a boyfriend.
29.  Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
30.  Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
31.  Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
32.  Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
33.  No matter how much guys cuss, when gals do it, they feel offended.

Murphy's Law on Love

(1)        When you have found your girl, your very best friend will break up with his female and you’ll be busy consoling him.
(2)        All those who have never fallen in love want to fall and all those who are in love suggest others not to do the same mistake!!
(3)  The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
(4)     Love is for idiots and you never know when u will become one!!!
(5)     The pimple doesn’t appear until an hour before the date.
(6)     Beauty and the Beast is often not a fairy tale.

(7)     You can’t fall in love with a person who isn’t your best friend.
(8)     Love rocks, but so does a rock.
(9)    The Quantity of shit that falls on you is directly proportional to the size of the pebble (love) you pelt in the gutter.
(10)  She stops loving you the moment you start loving her.
(11)    When you are damn sure that it’s an infatuation it’s actually love and when you think its love it’s actually not even an infatuation!
(12)     Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
(13)     True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
(14)      Love is like public toilet. People inside want to get out fast and people outside are desperate to get in.
(15)      Whenever you like someone and don’t have the guts to say it to him/her and you have a friend trying to help u out, inevitably that person will fall for your friend and no matter how many times you like someone there is always a friend ready n willing to help you out.
(16)       Something that she loves you for today would be the same thing that would let her break up with you tomorrow.
(17)      You gloat on finding the best one until you discover what your best pal found.
(18)      Your mum is always calling just when a cute guy is about to talks to you.
(19)      All the good looking babes end up with jerks.
(20)      She thinks you are a flirt as long as you love her and they fall for you when you start flirting.
(21)      When someone loves u so much you tend to take it easy but by the time you realise it you r too late and she is not around you anymore.
(22)      When you've feelings for a girl, she'll say I am already committed. Now you have to wait till she breaks off with her man. But now again if you keep the feelings as it is she'll never turn up to you and as soon as you forget her she’ll hit on you out of the blue.
(23)      Whenever you come across a hot girl and you try to gather some info about her, there are two things that you'll come to know:
1) She is having a boyfriend and that guy is having sports car/sports bike.
2) Her bf is presently going to some torronto or canada or hatfield 4 higher education.
(24)      Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
(25)       A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
(26)      Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
(27)      When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
(28)       Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
(29)      The time it takes to get into a relationship is directly proportional to the dangers you'll face in the future.
(30)      Love is only when you look good otherwise it’s just lust.
(31)      The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
(32)      Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position. 
(33)      The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
(34)      Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
(35)      If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
(36)      Nice guys (girls) finish last.

(37)      You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. 
(38)      The hottest person in the room is always homosexual.
(39)      Birds look beautiful in the sky until they shit right on your head.
(40)      Boys love often and less while girls love rare and more.
(41)      Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.
(42)      Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
(43)      To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
(44)      If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
(45)      The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M
(46)      When you are at the verge of just having the most awaited romantic moment of your life, some disaster comes in the way and spoils everything. 
(47)      If you love someone by heart just let him go and the day he comes back to you, throw him out of your life.
(48)       Sooner or Later, everyone fucks up in LOVE.
(49)       Hot girls are never available and if they are a) they are just out of a relationship b) she is a you-know-who.
(50)          If a girl is able to reject you, she will.
(51)         Love is so short and forgetting is so long.
(52)         Fuck a woman and she'll love u, love a woman and she'll fuck you.
(53)        Pick a flower ...Pick every petal in it saying....She loves me, she loves me not..The last petal left always says... she loves me not...
(54)      Even if a guy is in a happy relationship, he'd still make such comments. To make other girls fall for him.
(55)      Beauty & Simplicity are inversely proportional in case of a girl.

Murphy's Laws for Exams (2)

1) When you have to pen the circles in a multiple choice answer sheet you are bound to circle the bubble of question following the one you seem to be answering.
2) When you have a choice between 2 questions (say q1 and q2) and each q has 2 sub-parts you'll land-up knowing any one sub part from both q1 and q2 and then you will come to know that all the people near you are answering the q1 when you are answering q2 or vice versa and no one is there to help you.
3) The human brain is the best creation by god, it keeps on working day n night and stops the moment u enter the examination hall.
4) The person sitting near you is a know-it-all non cheating nerd.
5) Weird places where you write your answers before exam start cannot be read properly once d exam starts!!!!
6) You are tired as hell and sleepy the day before exam.
7) If you try to copy from the person sitting besides you in the exam will find that he is trying to do same, from u.
8) Your friend is dumb and doesn't know anything about the subject. You teach him everything about the subject as you are the master of subject and in exam he will get more marks than you.
9) You get sick only in the final week before the exams.
10) Paper always contains the derivations which you haven't memorized really.
11) After standing in line for an hour the printer will jam just when your turn comes up for printing your project report and the last date will be tomorrow.
12) No matter how early you post your form to New Delhi, because of national holidays and all that shit, it will reach there only one day after the last day.
13) "The teacher who gives the least marks will always check your paper".
14) No matter when you start preparing for an exam, you will always be an hour short.
15) The amount of information crammed into your head decreases as exam time approaches.
16) Whenever it happens that you've got a program working and the output is exact, the examiner wouldn't even bother checking the output.
17) You know that the notes for a particular topic exist only after the exam is over and that topic had the max ques.
18) As exams progress down goes the interest and by the final day of exams you literally want to get out of the hall.
19) The exam that you are most confident of doing well in is the one where you make silliest mistake. 65) Study holidays are seldom spent studying.
20) Easier a question is the harder it is to answer.
21) No matter how many preparation leaves you get, you end up studying on the last day.
22) Exam - this is the time when you attain the state of nirvana which otherwise hard to attain.
23) The intelligence of a person is inversely proportional to the marks he/she acquires.
24) When you have 4 options in a competitive examination question, and you are confused between the 2 options. Then you ask the correct option from the person sitting next to you and he will definitely tell you the incorrect option.
25) Possibility of falling in love is highest during the exams.
26) Sleepiness is inversely proportional to the time left in exams.
27) The more u study, the more you have the feeling that you have not studied anything and if you have studied nothing, you wouldn't even feel any tension.
28) If u copies the time table of the exam you will surely lose it and find it after all the exams getting over.
29) Whatever you know, you already know and whatever you don’t you cannot get to know before an exam.
30) You will have a sexiest girl sitting next to you during the lengthiest paper.
31) You will have a sexiest hotties sitting next to you when are solving the toughest exams of your life.
32) The marks of a class beat any random number table generated in history.
33) Whatever you copy turns out to be wrong.
34) All subjects become tough on the eve of exams.
35) The amount of ink spent during an examination is inversely proportional to cigarettes spent previous night.
36) Every time you prepare to copy by placing the nerds beside you, 99% of the time the seating arrangement will be changed once the examiner arrives!!
37) The correct answer is the one that came to your mind first but you changed it!!
38) Supervisor gives u answer sheet first and question paper last in the class and collects answer sheets first! 39) Surprise exams will be held in morning only when you are having hangover of party last night.

Murphy's Law for Exams (1)

1)                  If there are 6 units and you cover 5 units by all probability 50 % of questions will be from the unit you left!

2)                  Every time you check for a date for any exam, it has to be the last day for application sale!

3)                  The time left for exams is always inversely proportional to the course for the test.

4)                  Allyour important notes will be illegible.

5)                  When it’s an open book exam, you forget to take your book.

6)                  The part you skip will definitely come in the exam!

7)                  You will always know everything except the part that is asked in the question.

8)                  The paper you actually study for, you end up getting the least amount of marks!

9)                  The marks secured in an exam are inversely proportional to the input effort.

10)              If you remember everything you will fail, if you don’t remember anything you will fail!! But if you remember Murphy’s Law while giving exams: you will fail miserably!

11)              You can never come first ......there is always a murphy non believer to occupy that position!

12)              The happier you are after writing a paper,you score the least in it!

13)              The question that you choose to ignore will surely end up in the exam paper.

14)              Chances are that you'll invariably get caught talking to the person sitting in front of you when you're helping him, rather than when you're asking for help!!!

15)               The toughest paper always fetches the highest score.

16)               After exams you would decide to study hard from the start of the term from the next time
yet you will only start to study just before the exams and again after this exam you would decide to study hard from the start of the term from the next time.

17)               The more we study; the worse is the grades secured.

18)               You skip a topic because it has not been asked in the exams for last 5 exams and you find it as the first question. 

19)               You skip a topic because it has been asked for last exam and you believe they are not stupid enough to ask it again..phew.. that’s question no.2

20)               What you read is not whattheyask....whattheyask is what your neighbour read....what your neighbour readthat is what he writebut not what you see.....what you see and write is not whatthey asked.

21)               After the paper you always feel that the subject was very easy one.

22)               The best movies on tv are during exams...they show shit during the holidays.

23)               If u doesn’t shit before exams.....you'll definitely feel like shitting during exams.

24)               Every right answer can fetch you zero marks if u don’t know where to fit it.

25)               The day before exams you are watching a match or a good movie.

26)               In an exam...half the questions. We don’t understand and the ones we do. We don’t know the answers to!!!!

27)               The intensity of studies is inversely proportional to the number of days left for the exam.

28)               All the highly anticipated cricket matches/ soccer championships/ beauty paegants/ live concerts will inevitably fall during exam days!!!!

29)              In your exam days the weather is always cosy and romantic. You'll always feel this is not a weather to give exam it’s for going out with gf or friends it’s the time we should be out of our house and we have to close ourselves in our rooms.

30)               The day exams finish its hot, sweaty, humid,loo blowing like as if we r in the middle of a desert with scorching sun.

31)               It always happens that when you are not prepared for a particular paper your partner is even worse prepared.

32)               When you are praying to god that you get the sweetest supervisor, the demons hear u out and give you a hitler who never leaves your side!!!!!!!!

33)              If you have an exam tomorrow...there would be a power failure today.

34)              If you help someone in some test, the person who you helped will score more than you.

35)              You recall everything but the answers when in an examination hall.

36)              The questions are always easy, it’s the answers that play hard to get.

37)              All functions occur during exam days!

38)              Longest gap is given for d easiest paper....or when not required.

39)              If u goes to an exam after studying the whole syllabus, 90% questions would be out of syllabus.

40)              University exams always clash with yourcompetitive exams and you have to sacrifice the latter.

41)              The closer your exams, longer will be d stay of d guests.

42)              Whenever u thinks that u will study the early next morning,u end up getting up so late.

43)              Everyone seems to be better prepared than you in an exam.

44)              You'll always put a - in place of a + in your exams.

45)              The one sitting nearest to you will take a hundred "extra sheets" apart from that he/she will never show u an answer.

Some law's Related to food...

1. While eating anything hot and spicy your eyes would always itch.
2. The testiest food has the worst after effects.
3.The spill ability of a food item is directly proportional to the price/newness of the clothes you are wearing.
4.The hotter the day, the more ice-cream ads you'll have to sit through.
5.Toast always falls buttered side down.
6.The waiting in restaurants is always directly proportional to your hunger and yeah once u get in the service is always worse as compared to normal days.
7.When you are damn hungry, you will find the food to be insipid.
8.Hunger is directly proportional to Insipidity of food.
9.If you have buttered a slice of bread and it slips from your hand and falls down. You pray to god that it shouldn’t fall with the buttered side on the ground but inevitably it does.
10.White shirts always attract curries/chocolate sauce/ tea-coffee and anything that would make a permanent mark on them.
11.Your desire to eat some food is inversely proportional to your restriction to eat that particular item.
12.The more the restrictions, the more u desire!!
13.The phone will always ring when you are eating in a messy way with both hands!!
14.Mom cooks your favourite, delicious, cheesy, creamy food when you are on a strict diet.