मेरी ख्वाहिश है कि फिर से फरिश्ता हो जाऊं।
माँ से इस तरह लिपट जाऊं कि बच्चा हो जाऊं।
माँ से इस तरह लिपट जाऊं कि बच्चा हो जाऊं।
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 7, 2013
I too will die someday....
I was sitting in my home when I got a call from Gautam
Ji. He is my office senior and a father figure. He wanted me to company him to
hospital as some ex-employee was admitted there. Even in serious condition I
don’t like to go to hospital but Gautam Ji wants this so I reluctantly said
yes.
On our way to hospital, I ask him that to whom we
are going to meet. He said Mr. Bannerji. The name clicked an image in my mind.
I knew him. He was very jovial old man and was retired just 4 months back in
front of me. I asked Gautam Ji that what happened to him. He said “cancer”. His
tone was monotonous. Till now I was walking in hospital as if I am walking in
some kind of garden. But the mere mention of the illness made my leg heavy.
Honestly speaking, like many people I too heard a lot about cancer and peoples
successful survival from it but actually I never came across a guy with this
illness.
I came out of my thoughts when Gautam Ji stopped to
talk to a patient. Gautam Ji was talking
to him something and he wasn’t replying. It took me 15 mins to realize that he
is talking to Mr Bannerjee. I realized
that what an illness of cancer’s magnitude can do to a man. He was shaking. He
was bald. In place of eyes there were two holes, inside of very deep you can
find retina. He wasn’t a man, he was just a structure. He was not able to
speak. When Gautam Ji told him about me then he just stare at me…our eyes met
for few seconds and those moments were seems like longest moments I have lived.
His eyes were blank, expressionless. I realized as if his eyes are saying that
today is my turn, you too will die someday. When he was looking in my eyes, I
felt very frightened and weak and frustrated and helpless. We locked our eyes
for some seconds and for that time I almost felt his pain, his suffering. This
was the time it occurred to me that I can also die or I will also die some day.
I get to know that he has cancer from 2 years and he
is in his last stage. Gautam Ji said that he has stopped reacting to medicines.
He is not taking food or anything. He also said that he will die in 1-2 months.
It was amazing to feel that you are looking at somebody who will not remain
alive after some time. After some time you will not be able to see him.
I left hospital with a heavy heart. This was most
frightening moment of my mind. I was feeling numb.
Yesterday I came to know that he is no more. He is
just a memory now. I was looking at his picture of his farewell and realize he
is saying to me that you too die someday.
Oct 27, 2013
अँधेरे चारों तरफ़ (राहत इन्दौरी)
अँधेरे
चारों तरफ़ सायं-सायं करने लगे
चिराग़ हाथ उठाकर दुआएँ करने लगे
तरक़्क़ी कर गए बीमारियों के सौदागर
ये सब मरीज़ हैं जो अब दवाएँ करने लगे
लहूलोहान पड़ा था ज़मीं पे इक सूरज
परिन्दे अपने परों से हवाएँ करने लगे
ज़मीं पे आ गए आँखों से टूट कर आँसू
बुरी ख़बर है फ़रिश्ते ख़ताएँ करने लगे
झुलस रहे हैं यहाँ छाँव बाँटने वाले
वो धूप है कि शजर इलतिजाएँ करने लगे
अजीब रंग था मजलिस का, ख़ूब महफ़िल थी
सफ़ेद पोश उठे काएँ-काएँ करने लगे
चिराग़ हाथ उठाकर दुआएँ करने लगे
तरक़्क़ी कर गए बीमारियों के सौदागर
ये सब मरीज़ हैं जो अब दवाएँ करने लगे
लहूलोहान पड़ा था ज़मीं पे इक सूरज
परिन्दे अपने परों से हवाएँ करने लगे
ज़मीं पे आ गए आँखों से टूट कर आँसू
बुरी ख़बर है फ़रिश्ते ख़ताएँ करने लगे
झुलस रहे हैं यहाँ छाँव बाँटने वाले
वो धूप है कि शजर इलतिजाएँ करने लगे
अजीब रंग था मजलिस का, ख़ूब महफ़िल थी
सफ़ेद पोश उठे काएँ-काएँ करने लगे
लोग हर मोड़ पे (राहत इन्दौरी)
लोग
हर मोड़ पे रुक-रुक के संभलते क्यों हैं
इतना डरते हैं तो फिर घर से निकलते क्यों हैं
मैं न जुगनू हूँ, दिया हूँ न कोई तारा हूँ
रोशनी वाले मेरे नाम से जलते क्यों हैं
नींद से मेरा त'अल्लुक़ ही नहीं बरसों से
ख्वाब आ आ के मेरी छत पे टहलते क्यों हैं
मोड़ होता है जवानी का संभलने के लिए
और सब लोग यहीं आके फिसलते क्यों हैं
इतना डरते हैं तो फिर घर से निकलते क्यों हैं
मैं न जुगनू हूँ, दिया हूँ न कोई तारा हूँ
रोशनी वाले मेरे नाम से जलते क्यों हैं
नींद से मेरा त'अल्लुक़ ही नहीं बरसों से
ख्वाब आ आ के मेरी छत पे टहलते क्यों हैं
मोड़ होता है जवानी का संभलने के लिए
और सब लोग यहीं आके फिसलते क्यों हैं
पुराने शहरों के मंज़र निकलने लगते हैं (राहत इन्दौरी)
पुराने
शहरों के मंज़र निकलने लगते हैं
ज़मीं जहाँ भी खुले घर निकलने लगते हैं
मैं खोलता हूँ सदफ़ मोतियों के चक्कर में
मगर यहाँ भी समन्दर निकलने लगते हैं
हसीन लगते हैं जाड़ों में सुबह के मंज़र
सितारे धूप पहनकर निकलने लगते हैं
बुरे दिनों से बचाना मुझे मेरे मौला
क़रीबी दोस्त भी बचकर निकलने लगते हैं
बुलन्दियों का तसव्वुर भी ख़ूब होता है
कभी कभी तो मेरे पर निकलने लगते हैं
अगर ख़्याल भी आए कि तुझको ख़त लिक्खूँ
तो घोंसलों से कबूतर निकलने लगते हैं
ज़मीं जहाँ भी खुले घर निकलने लगते हैं
मैं खोलता हूँ सदफ़ मोतियों के चक्कर में
मगर यहाँ भी समन्दर निकलने लगते हैं
हसीन लगते हैं जाड़ों में सुबह के मंज़र
सितारे धूप पहनकर निकलने लगते हैं
बुरे दिनों से बचाना मुझे मेरे मौला
क़रीबी दोस्त भी बचकर निकलने लगते हैं
बुलन्दियों का तसव्वुर भी ख़ूब होता है
कभी कभी तो मेरे पर निकलने लगते हैं
अगर ख़्याल भी आए कि तुझको ख़त लिक्खूँ
तो घोंसलों से कबूतर निकलने लगते हैं
उँगलियाँ यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो (राहत इन्दौरी)
उँगलियाँ
यूँ न सब पर उठाया करो
खर्च करने से पहले कमाया करो
ज़िन्दगी क्या है खुद ही समझ जाओगे
बारिशों में पतंगें उड़ाया करो
दोस्तों से मुलाक़ात के नाम पर
नीम की पत्तियों को चबाया करो
शाम के बाद जब तुम सहर देख लो
कुछ फ़क़ीरों को खाना खिलाया करो
अपने सीने में दो गज़ ज़मीं बाँधकर
आसमानों का ज़र्फ़ आज़माया करो
चाँद सूरज कहाँ, अपनी मंज़िल कहाँ
ऐसे वैसों को मुँह मत लगाया करो
खर्च करने से पहले कमाया करो
ज़िन्दगी क्या है खुद ही समझ जाओगे
बारिशों में पतंगें उड़ाया करो
दोस्तों से मुलाक़ात के नाम पर
नीम की पत्तियों को चबाया करो
शाम के बाद जब तुम सहर देख लो
कुछ फ़क़ीरों को खाना खिलाया करो
अपने सीने में दो गज़ ज़मीं बाँधकर
आसमानों का ज़र्फ़ आज़माया करो
चाँद सूरज कहाँ, अपनी मंज़िल कहाँ
ऐसे वैसों को मुँह मत लगाया करो
Sep 29, 2013
Murphy's law on girls (2)
(1) Virginity is not dignity... it’s just lack of
opportunity.
(2) Those who know using girls go to top........those at bottom are used by gals.
(2) Those who know using girls go to top........those at bottom are used by gals.
(4) "A beautiful girl always keeps an ugly bitch as her friend to make herself feel better"
result-
1." the ugly bitch will throw more attitude than the beautiful girl".
2."The ugly bitch gets laid first".
(5) It’s hard to wait for the right girl when all the wrong ones are so damn hot.
(6) Girls will always walk around or talk in groups, making them arrogantly unapproachable!
(7) Girls will talk with you less & judge you behind your back more!
(8) The hot girl u like will always casually talks to all your friends & not u!!!
(9) Girls are always right, even when they're not right - so you'd better not argue.
(10) The thing you hate the most about your gf will be repeated by her the maximum times,so much so that finally u got to tell her so... and then she fights for not telling this for so long!!!!
(11) If you tell her that you love her....she will take it as a joke and never believe you but if you jokingly tell her, ever that you hate her...she will remember that forever and keep reminding you in any argument.
(12) Even the worst girl has minimum ten guys behind her.
(13) When a girl says "forget it!!!" it means "Wait till i get a chance".
(14) Men give long explanation to his gf, but the gal beats it by tears.
(15) All other gals are beautiful than your gf.
(16) The day we r going to get lucky with a girl is the day she gets her periods.
(17) The next door girl falls for you only when her father is to get transferred by the next week.
(18) Your Girls best friend is always a guy.
(19) Good girls always end up falling for bad boys.
(20) Nice girls finish last!!!!!
(21) The girl interested in your attire will never be interested in the inner one.
(22) If anything can go wrong in asking a girl out, then it will!!
(23) If a girl is staring hard at you, please check if there's a clock behind you, before getting all happy about it.
(24) A girl can be anything she wants, but her man becomes nothing after she haunts.
(25)No talent, no MBA in this world will stop a hot girl in your office beat you for that promotion.
(26) When a hot girl expresses interest in you, either you are rich and you don't know or your just plain dumb.
(27) Your girlfriend’s friend is your God, worship her.
(28) If you just bad mouthed about a guy to your girlfriend and he is your girlfriend's friend's classmate's cousin's neighbor's 8th son then he will know.
(29) If you think good looking ones fall during happier times..Never.They fall easily when they in lowest point in their life.
(30) Good looking ones aren't god looking ones!
(31) If your girlfriend calls u and tells u 'we need 2 talks' then be sure that she'll be dumping u!!!
(32) If a girl has to dump a guy, she will.
(33) If a guy gets dumped by the girl, he knew it well before.
(34) A girl in hand needs gift to do it, a girl in asylum needs money to do it. Either ones are proportional.
(35) There is no such thing as unconditional love.......there is always a asterisk at end of it (love*)
(36) Fuck a girl, she'll love u.Love a girl and she'll fuck u.
(37) the more a guy shows his affection to a girl, the more she doubts him.
(38) Best way to remember your GF's B'day is to forget once.
(39) your gf will always be free for movie, wen u have an exam or your wallet is empty.
(40) When you ignore a girl, She keeps away from you..,
Cos you ignore her.
When you pay attention to her, She keeps away from you..,
because you pay attention to her.
When you neither ignore nor pay attention to her, she still keeps away from you
because you are neither doing both.
(41) If you see a girl who is
- clever, cool and great looking (or)
- dumb, stupid and great looking (or )
- clever, bright and ugly (or)
-dumb, stupid and ugly....
any one of the above four;
they are all married / or they have a boyfriend.
(42) "It’s totally true that unlike men different girls look for different things in men... some go for $, some Rs. and some for Pounds”.
(43) "The more innocent a girl looks chances are that more rude she is"
(44) Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days n never dies.
Murphy's law on girls (1)
(1) The most gorgeous girls always go to the worst
lookers in town.
(2) All the beautiful girls have
boyfriends that cannot be called boys.(3) The more the makeup, worse the looks...
(4) All the good ones are taken, If the person isn't taken, there is a reason.
(5) Girls have boyfriends who are champoos to every other boy but to girls they are best.
(6) If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(7) The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(8) Girls always want to discuss the relationship. But men will never understand them.
(9) Beauty x Brain x Availability = constant.
(10) Virginity can be cured!!!!
(11) Nothing improves with age.
(12) If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too. She will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed.
(13) The number of nice of women is directly proportional to the number of jerks making generalizations about them.
(14) Geography & History are inversely proportional. If a girl has a good geography, she'll have a bad history and if she has a good history, then she'll obviously have a bad geography.
(15) Girls don’t follow progressive evolution as given by Darwin, that’s probably why virgins are still born.
(16) As soon as you ask a girl for a dance, a better looking girl passes by u n d best ones r already on d dance floor.
(17) Theory of relativity......
The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
corollary....
The more u run away from a girl(worst looking)...the more she comes closer to u.
(18) The more you want to talk to a girl, the more she will be found with her best friends.
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend.
(19) The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
(20) The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. Have a bad hair day
(21) How much beautiful or extremely attractive a girl is, there is someone somewhere who is gonna be tired of screwing her!!!
(22) The more beautiful the girl is the more wreck less is her father.
(23) Virginity is not a Dignity; it’s a lack of Opportunity!!
(24) The number of scraps you get from a b'ful girl is always inversely proportional to the scraps you send her.
(25) If both a guy and a girl love each other and agree for a marriage, the girl will always have a father who will be trying to spoil that marriage.
(26) The first thing girls do before expressing anger, sorrow or happiness is to cry.
(27) For a girl it’s easy to be a very good friend but it can take age’s t o to for her to love you.
(28) She will always forgive you when it’s her mistake and she will kill you if it’s your mistake.
(29) If you think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that.
(30) The nicer she is...the quicker you will be dumped!!!!!
(31) "95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would always be in your college."
(32) The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
(33) The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
(34) The more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u.
(35) Women are like toilets...the best ones are already occupied and the remaining are full of shit!!!
(36) When you get to visit your gal's house seeking the best opportunity, she will get a call from her friend n start chatting n u will be left bored.
(37) The world is heavily partial to the combination of good brains and vagina...though the combination is rare.
(38) The prettiest faces are always with the strongest boyfriends.
(39) Pretty gals aren’t free, and the free ones aren’t pretty.
(40) The guys always spend more than the girls.
(41) If a girl is smart the boyfriend is dumb.
(42) Your ideal match who has every characteristic you wanted in a girl is already committed to some asshole from god knows where and will tell you that you are going to find a better girl than her when she is already the ideal in every way.
(43) Girls always talk 2 guys with whom none of d boys in boys-hostel talk.
(44) Just when you decide that you will forget her, she is in front of u and the same loop starts all over again.
(45) The smarter you try to act in front of the one you care about, the dumber you look.
(46) When you are about to confess your love... she confesses hers...[for someone else...]
(47) Best response from a girl after proposed by a guy - "I never saw u that way".
(48) The best girl in class will fall for a senior and when you become a senior yourself, the best junior is already engaged.
(49) Girls will never admit their real age and when they do its already too late.
(50) If you happen to be her best friend then you are most likely to meet her best-est friend soon.
(51) More the money, more the number of girls!!!
(52) The better the guy,the lesser attractive the girls find him.
(53) All the good ones are already taken.
Sep 28, 2013
Murphy's Law for guys
1. Guys who you really like will never notice it. But guys who you don’t even care about will
think you are after them.
2. Any guy who gets along well with your girlfriend but not you is a loser or an asshole.
3. Really intelligent guys are always chased by Good Looking (but basically dickhead) Girls.
4. A guy will find smoking with his guy friends 'cool' but gals smoking is 'characterless'.
5. "Girls who are really beautiful will have 0% arrogance, but ones who are ugly are the ones who think too highly of themselves and feel they are the most beautiful in the .
6. They always have a huge appetite! Even the skinniest guy will hog without complaining even if the food is awful!
7. All the eligible guys in this world are taken, married, gay or dead!
2. Any guy who gets along well with your girlfriend but not you is a loser or an asshole.
3. Really intelligent guys are always chased by Good Looking (but basically dickhead) Girls.
4. A guy will find smoking with his guy friends 'cool' but gals smoking is 'characterless'.
5. "Girls who are really beautiful will have 0% arrogance, but ones who are ugly are the ones who think too highly of themselves and feel they are the most beautiful in the .
6. They always have a huge appetite! Even the skinniest guy will hog without complaining even if the food is awful!
7. All the eligible guys in this world are taken, married, gay or dead!
9. If anything can go wrong it will, and when it does, the woman will get the blame.
10. The more a guy has love for a chick, the closer she will get to someone else.
11. Every guy thinks he is better than the guy with whom the girl is.
12. No matter how hard you had to try to get a date, when you finally do find someone, lots of women suddenly find you very attractive and you've got to beat them away.
13. If you think a guy is your good friend before hooking up, chances are you won't see eye to eye on any issue after hooking up.
14. Make up is inversely proportionate to money.
15. Guys will never admit they are lost and when they do they certainly won’t ask directions.
16. The perfect guy will always have a major flaw in him after you have fallen for him.
17. Women look for a reason to have sex; guys just look for a place!
18. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
19. Guys are more talkative than girls, especially when the topic is about girls.
20. If there are two or more boys are interested in you, and one of them is a jerk, only he will propose.
21. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
22. The more a guy runs behind a girl before she accepts his proposal the more she will have to run behind him months after her acceptance.
23. Not all men are fools,some stay bachelors.
24. If some hot chick starts flirting with guys,they find it a moral obligation/responsibility to flirt back even if they have a girl friend.
25. The hotness of the chick that we are flirting with is directly proportional to the ass-kicking that we get after this little flirting.
26. No guy will ever accept his mistake if a girl points it out to him.
27. Justifying ones folly is ones birth right but men are just more successful in the process!!
28. Guys always will realize the woman of their dreams was right in front of them after the girl gets a boyfriend.
29. Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
30. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
31. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
32. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
33. No matter how much guys cuss, when gals do it, they feel offended.
Sep 21, 2013
Murphy's Law on Love
(1) When you have found your girl, your very best friend will break
up with his female and you’ll be busy consoling him.
(2) All those who have never fallen in love want to fall and all those who are in love suggest others not to do the same mistake!!
(3) The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
(4) Love is for idiots and you never know when u will become one!!!
(5) The pimple doesn’t appear until an hour before the date.
(6) Beauty and the Beast is often not a fairy tale.
(2) All those who have never fallen in love want to fall and all those who are in love suggest others not to do the same mistake!!
(3) The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
(4) Love is for idiots and you never know when u will become one!!!
(5) The pimple doesn’t appear until an hour before the date.
(6) Beauty and the Beast is often not a fairy tale.
(8) Love rocks, but so does a rock.
(9) The Quantity of shit that falls on you is directly proportional to the size of the pebble (love) you pelt in the gutter.
(10) She stops loving you the moment you start loving her.
(11) When you are damn sure that it’s an infatuation it’s actually love and when you think its love it’s actually not even an infatuation!
(12) Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
(13) True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
(14) Love is like public toilet. People inside want to get out fast and people outside are desperate to get in.
(15) Whenever you like someone and don’t have the guts to say it to him/her and you have a friend trying to help u out, inevitably that person will fall for your friend and no matter how many times you like someone there is always a friend ready n willing to help you out.
(16) Something that she loves you for today would be the same thing that would let her break up with you tomorrow.
(17) You gloat on finding the best one until you discover what your best pal found.
(18) Your mum is always calling just when a cute guy is about to talks to you.
(19) All the good looking babes end up with jerks.
(20) She thinks you are a flirt as long as you love her and they fall for you when you start flirting.
(21) When someone loves u so much you tend to take it easy but by the time you realise it you r too late and she is not around you anymore.
(22) When you've feelings for a girl, she'll say I am already committed. Now you have to wait till she breaks off with her man. But now again if you keep the feelings as it is she'll never turn up to you and as soon as you forget her she’ll hit on you out of the blue.
(23) Whenever you come across a hot girl and you try to gather some info about her, there are two things that you'll come to know:
1) She is having a boyfriend and that guy is having sports car/sports bike.
2) Her bf is presently going to some torronto or canada or hatfield 4 higher education.
(24) Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
(25) A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
(26) Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
(27) When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
(29) The time it takes to get into a relationship is directly proportional to the dangers you'll face in the future.
(30) Love is only when you look good otherwise it’s just lust.
(31) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
(32) Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
(33) The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
(34) Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
(35) If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
(36) Nice guys (girls) finish last.
(38) The hottest person in the room is always homosexual.
(39) Birds look beautiful in the sky until they shit right on your head.
(41) Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.
(42) Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
(43) To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
(44) If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
(45) The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M
(46) When you are at the verge of just having the most awaited romantic moment of your life, some disaster comes in the way and spoils everything.
(48) Sooner or Later, everyone fucks up in LOVE.
(49) Hot girls are never available and if they are a) they are just out of a relationship b) she is a you-know-who.
(50) If a girl is able to reject you, she will.
(51) Love is so short and forgetting is so long.
(52) Fuck a woman and she'll love u, love a woman and she'll fuck you.
(53) Pick a flower ...Pick every petal in it saying....She loves me, she loves me not..The last petal left always says... she loves me not...
(54) Even if a guy is in a happy relationship, he'd still make such comments. To make other girls fall for him.
(55) Beauty & Simplicity are inversely proportional in case of a girl.
Jul 30, 2013
Murphy's Laws for Exams (2)
1) When you have to pen the circles in a multiple choice answer sheet you are bound to circle the bubble of question following the one you seem to be answering.
2) When you have a choice between 2 questions (say q1 and q2) and each q has 2 sub-parts you'll land-up knowing any one sub part from both q1 and q2 and then you will come to know that all the people near you are answering the q1 when you are answering q2 or vice versa and no one is there to help you.
3) The human brain is the best creation by god, it keeps on working day n night and stops the moment u enter the examination hall.
4) The person sitting near you is a know-it-all non cheating nerd.
5) Weird places where you write your answers before exam start cannot be read properly once d exam starts!!!!
6) You are tired as hell and sleepy the day before exam.
7) If you try to copy from the person sitting besides you in the exam will find that he is trying to do same, from u.
8) Your friend is dumb and doesn't know anything about the subject. You teach him everything about the subject as you are the master of subject and in exam he will get more marks than you.
9) You get sick only in the final week before the exams.
10) Paper always contains the derivations which you haven't memorized really.
11) After standing in line for an hour the printer will jam just when your turn comes up for printing your project report and the last date will be tomorrow.
12) No matter how early you post your form to New Delhi, because of national holidays and all that shit, it will reach there only one day after the last day.
13) "The teacher who gives the least marks will always check your paper".
14) No matter when you start preparing for an exam, you will always be an hour short.
15) The amount of information crammed into your head decreases as exam time approaches.
16) Whenever it happens that you've got a program working and the output is exact, the examiner wouldn't even bother checking the output.
17) You know that the notes for a particular topic exist only after the exam is over and that topic had the max ques.
18) As exams progress down goes the interest and by the final day of exams you literally want to get out of the hall.
19) The exam that you are most confident of doing well in is the one where you make silliest mistake. 65) Study holidays are seldom spent studying.
20) Easier a question is the harder it is to answer.
21) No matter how many preparation leaves you get, you end up studying on the last day.
22) Exam - this is the time when you attain the state of nirvana which otherwise hard to attain.
23) The intelligence of a person is inversely proportional to the marks he/she acquires.
24) When you have 4 options in a competitive examination question, and you are confused between the 2 options. Then you ask the correct option from the person sitting next to you and he will definitely tell you the incorrect option.
25) Possibility of falling in love is highest during the exams.
26) Sleepiness is inversely proportional to the time left in exams.
27) The more u study, the more you have the feeling that you have not studied anything and if you have studied nothing, you wouldn't even feel any tension.
28) If u copies the time table of the exam you will surely lose it and find it after all the exams getting over.
29) Whatever you know, you already know and whatever you don’t you cannot get to know before an exam.
30) You will have a sexiest girl sitting next to you during the lengthiest paper.
31) You will have a sexiest hotties sitting next to you when are solving the toughest exams of your life.
32) The marks of a class beat any random number table generated in history.
33) Whatever you copy turns out to be wrong.
34) All subjects become tough on the eve of exams.
35) The amount of ink spent during an examination is inversely proportional to cigarettes spent previous night.
36) Every time you prepare to copy by placing the nerds beside you, 99% of the time the seating arrangement will be changed once the examiner arrives!!
37) The correct answer is the one that came to your mind first but you changed it!!
38) Supervisor gives u answer sheet first and question paper last in the class and collects answer sheets first! 39) Surprise exams will be held in morning only when you are having hangover of party last night.
Murphy's Law for Exams (1)
1)
If there are 6 units and you cover 5 units by all
probability 50 % of questions will be from the unit you left!
2)
Every time you check for a date for any exam, it has
to be the last day for application sale!
3)
The time left for exams is always inversely proportional
to the course for the test.
4)
Allyour important notes will be illegible.
5)
When it’s an open book exam, you forget to take your
book.
6)
The part you skip will definitely come in the exam!
7)
You will always know everything except the part that
is asked in the question.
8)
The paper you actually study for, you end up getting
the least amount of marks!
9)
The marks secured in an exam are inversely
proportional to the input effort.
10)
If you remember everything you will fail, if you don’t
remember anything you will fail!! But if you remember Murphy’s Law while giving
exams: you will fail miserably!
11)
You can never come first ......there is always a
murphy non believer to occupy that position!
12)
The happier you are after writing a paper,you score
the least in it!
13)
The question that you choose to ignore will surely
end up in the exam paper.
14)
Chances are that you'll invariably get caught
talking to the person sitting in front of you when you're helping him, rather
than when you're asking for help!!!
15)
The toughest
paper always fetches the highest score.
16)
After exams
you would decide to study hard from the start of the term from the next
time
yet you will only start to study just before the exams and again after this exam you would decide to study hard from the start of the term from the next time.
yet you will only start to study just before the exams and again after this exam you would decide to study hard from the start of the term from the next time.
17)
The more we study;
the worse is the grades secured.
18)
You skip a
topic because it has not been asked in the exams for last 5 exams and you find
it as the first question.
19)
You skip a
topic because it has been asked for last exam and you believe they are not
stupid enough to ask it again..phew.. that’s question no.2
20)
What you read
is not whattheyask....whattheyask is what your neighbour read....what your neighbour
readthat is what he writebut not what you see.....what you see and write is not
whatthey asked.
21)
After the
paper you always feel that the subject was very easy one.
22)
The best
movies on tv are during exams...they show shit during the holidays.
23)
If u doesn’t
shit before exams.....you'll definitely feel like shitting during exams.
24)
Every right
answer can fetch you zero marks if u don’t know where to fit it.
25)
The day before
exams you are watching a match or a good movie.
26)
In an
exam...half the questions. We don’t understand and the ones we do. We don’t
know the answers to!!!!
27)
The intensity
of studies is inversely proportional to the number of days left for the exam.
28)
All the
highly anticipated cricket matches/ soccer championships/ beauty paegants/ live
concerts will inevitably fall during exam days!!!!
29)
In your exam days the weather is always cosy and romantic.
You'll always feel this is not a weather to give exam it’s for going out with gf
or friends it’s the time we should be out of our house and we have to close
ourselves in our rooms.
30)
The day exams
finish its hot, sweaty, humid,loo blowing like as if we r in the middle of a
desert with scorching sun.
31)
It always
happens that when you are not prepared for a particular paper your partner is
even worse prepared.
32)
When you are
praying to god that you get the sweetest supervisor, the demons hear u out and
give you a hitler who never leaves your side!!!!!!!!
33)
If you have an exam tomorrow...there would be a
power failure today.
34)
If you help someone in some test, the person who you
helped will score more than you.
35)
You recall everything but the answers when in an
examination hall.
36)
The questions are always easy, it’s the answers that
play hard to get.
37)
All functions occur during exam days!
38)
Longest gap is given for d easiest paper....or when
not required.
39)
If u goes to an exam after studying the whole
syllabus, 90% questions would be out of syllabus.
40)
University exams always clash with yourcompetitive
exams and you have to sacrifice the latter.
41)
The closer your exams, longer will be d stay of d
guests.
42)
Whenever u thinks that u will study the early next
morning,u end up getting up so late.
43)
Everyone seems to be better prepared than you in an
exam.
44)
You'll always put a - in place of a + in your exams.
45)
The one sitting nearest to you will take a hundred
"extra sheets" apart from that he/she will never show u an
answer.
Jul 14, 2013
Some law's Related to food...
1. While eating anything hot and spicy your eyes would always itch.
2. The testiest food has the worst after effects.
3.The spill ability of a food item is directly proportional to the price/newness of the clothes you are wearing.
4.The hotter the day, the more ice-cream ads you'll have to sit through.
5.Toast always falls buttered side down.
6.The waiting in restaurants is always directly proportional to your hunger and yeah once u get in the service is always worse as compared to normal days.
7.When you are damn hungry, you will find the food to be insipid.
8.Hunger is directly proportional to Insipidity of food.
9.If you have buttered a slice of bread and it slips from your hand and falls down. You pray to god that it shouldn’t fall with the buttered side on the ground but inevitably it does.
10.White shirts always attract curries/chocolate sauce/ tea-coffee and anything that would make a permanent mark on them.
11.Your desire to eat some food is inversely proportional to your restriction to eat that particular item.
12.The more the restrictions, the more u desire!!
13.The phone will always ring when you are eating in a messy way with both hands!!
14.Mom cooks your favourite, delicious, cheesy, creamy food when you are on a strict diet.
Jul 7, 2013
The Zahir....
Recently i finished "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho and simply love some points which i like to share...
1. I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and a smile, even when that smile is dimmed by tears.
2. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
3. Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the abilities to choose and commit yourself to –what is best for you.
4. We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin; the second is knowing when to stop.
5. People do their best not to remember and not to accept the immense magical potential they possess, because that would upset their neat little universes.
6. We just don’t all have the courage to follow our dreams and to follow the signs.
7. What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over.
8. It is not life that matters but journey.
9. When people praise us, we should keep a close eye on how we behave.
10. The universe tells us when we are wrong by taking what is most important to us.
11. Don’t be too grateful too soon.
12. The energy of hatred won’t get you anywhere but the energy of forgiveness, will transform your life in a positive way.
13. Blessed are those who don’t afraid to admit that they don’t know something.
14. When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny.
15. Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.
16. If someone is capable of loving his partner without restrictions, unconditionally, then he is manifesting the love of god.
17. There are two kind of world: the one we dream about and the real one.
18. It is a question if the heart of a man or woman can contain enough love for more than one person.
19. No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must have either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even unhappy.
20. The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk any more, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to theatre, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk.
21. Everything in this universe is interconnected and has a meaning. That meaning may remain hidden nearly all the time, but we always know we are close to your true mission on earth when what we are doing is touched with energy of enthusiasm.
22. There is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress: a trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on. As part of process to increase our hidden power s, we must first free our self from that giving up point and, to do so, we must review his whole life and find out where it occurred.
1. I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and a smile, even when that smile is dimmed by tears.
2. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
3. Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the abilities to choose and commit yourself to –what is best for you.
4. We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin; the second is knowing when to stop.
5. People do their best not to remember and not to accept the immense magical potential they possess, because that would upset their neat little universes.
6. We just don’t all have the courage to follow our dreams and to follow the signs.
7. What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over.
8. It is not life that matters but journey.
9. When people praise us, we should keep a close eye on how we behave.
10. The universe tells us when we are wrong by taking what is most important to us.
11. Don’t be too grateful too soon.
12. The energy of hatred won’t get you anywhere but the energy of forgiveness, will transform your life in a positive way.
13. Blessed are those who don’t afraid to admit that they don’t know something.
14. When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny.
15. Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.
16. If someone is capable of loving his partner without restrictions, unconditionally, then he is manifesting the love of god.
17. There are two kind of world: the one we dream about and the real one.
18. It is a question if the heart of a man or woman can contain enough love for more than one person.
19. No one should ever ask themselves that: why am I unhappy? The question carries within it the virus that will destroy everything. If we ask that question, it means we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must have either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even unhappy.
20. The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk any more, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to theatre, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk.
21. Everything in this universe is interconnected and has a meaning. That meaning may remain hidden nearly all the time, but we always know we are close to your true mission on earth when what we are doing is touched with energy of enthusiasm.
22. There is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress: a trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on. As part of process to increase our hidden power s, we must first free our self from that giving up point and, to do so, we must review his whole life and find out where it occurred.
Jun 26, 2013
Complete the circle..(From The Zahir)
People
need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win
and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect
recognition for your efforts, and don’t expect your genius to be discovered or
your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or
arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close
the door, change the record, clean the house, and get rid of the dust. Stop
being who you were and become who you are.
Jun 9, 2013
Murphy's law on travelling
1.Buses and the trains in the opposite direction
will always carry only a bus driver and a conductor.
2.Only when you go to send of somebody, you will see beautiful ladies besides their seat. It can be taken for granted that you always end up travelling with an old lady or no ladies at all, when you travel yourself.
3.On the day’s you decide to take the bus; you'll see the last bus leaving seconds before u reach the stop!
4.Seat you chose after sprinting has broken window.
5.When you don't have change, conductor too doesn't have change.
6.A bus that has started moving never stops no matter how much u run and scream after it.
Corollary: the bus you caught after running is wrong one.
7.The bus always stops 10mtr away from the bus stop.
8.When you are in hurry, there are more buses going in opposite direction
9.All the buses u need will be travelling in the opposite direction
10.When you are about to miss a bus/train - The speed of bus/ train departing stop is directly proportional to your desperation for catching it!!
11.When we are desperate to catch a bus, there will not be space even for a pin. When we don’t want, the same bus goes empty..!
Murphy's Law (Cooking)
(1) Hot vessel looks exactly same as cold vessel.
(2) Phones received outside the kitchen generates unexpected results.
(3) Fire alarms are more efficient while cooking.
(4) Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
(5) When all else fails, read the instructions.
(6) Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.
(7) to err is human, but to really screw things up requires an oven.
(8) Good food is always limited.
(9) The rotten egg will be the one you break into the batter.
(10) Eat until it lasts!
(11) NO store will have what you want.
(12) The best food always rots before you get home.
(13) The watched pot never boils, the unwatched one boils over.
(14) Too many cooks spoil the broth, is a better situation...than no cook, and no food.
(15) When u finally decide to cook which is in a blue moon, u realise the stove is burnt n needs a repair.
(16) Something definitely spills on u if u wears a white shirt and cook.
(17) Man who loves to eat gets a diet conscious wife!
Jun 3, 2013
Murphy's Law on Sport!!!
Law 1: It needs a cricket match to bring in rain to the most dried up
city.
Law 2: The player you would like to see in a match is the one to be injured and out the tournament.
Law 3: Your team will always lose.
Proviso to Law 3: There are times when your team won't lose, i.e. when there's "No Result" due to rain.
Law 3 Conclusion: Your Team will lose.
Law 4: A team winning all the league matches is on whom the effect of Murphy's Law is intense. Things will definitely go wrong in Semi-finals.
Law 5: the more closer the match gets more is the probability of a power-cut in your home.
Law 6: Once it’s raining, rest assured the duck-worth lewis always favours your opponents.
Proviso to Law 6: Once the rain stops, your team will any ways lose playing.
Law 7:One day of the Final of the Tournament, Your boss gives you extra urgent work to do.
Law 8: Rain delays the match for which you bunked the office.
Law 2: The player you would like to see in a match is the one to be injured and out the tournament.
Law 3: Your team will always lose.
Proviso to Law 3: There are times when your team won't lose, i.e. when there's "No Result" due to rain.
Law 3 Conclusion: Your Team will lose.
Law 4: A team winning all the league matches is on whom the effect of Murphy's Law is intense. Things will definitely go wrong in Semi-finals.
Law 5: the more closer the match gets more is the probability of a power-cut in your home.
Law 6: Once it’s raining, rest assured the duck-worth lewis always favours your opponents.
Proviso to Law 6: Once the rain stops, your team will any ways lose playing.
Law 7:One day of the Final of the Tournament, Your boss gives you extra urgent work to do.
Law 8: Rain delays the match for which you bunked the office.
Law 11: You always have exams during the world cup matches and exam gets over after the finals.
Law 12: If You play any sport and get defeated comprehensively and the next time you strengthen your team and their team weakens You will be defeated even more comprehensively.
May 12, 2013
Murphy's Law of flirting
(1)If you try to be gentle to a woman, she would back fire
and screw you away. On the other hand if you play bad, she would show
quad-zillion per cent gravitational pull.
(2)The more of an ass-hole you are, most ladies will be
drawn to you.
(3)By all chance what you intendant to do, you will by all probability fail in that.
(4)The quieter you become the more you can hear.
(5) Always think you r d best in d world and always say
you are not the Flirt So as to be a good flirt.
(6) You can't even outsmart the girls. If initially you
don't give a fuck, and then you start to care, girls still screws you.
(7) Arguing with a girl is like fighting with a pig in
the mud, after sometime you realise that the pig is enjoying and you getting
dirty.
(8) The ugliest guy always gets the sexiest chick....
(9)Sexy girls prefer ugly boys!!
Conclusion: if you are a loser than you are good looking!!
(10)The girl you are flirting with always has a bf...
(11)The gal who is always closer and intimate with u is
always behind your brother or friend.....
(12)The girl with whom everything works out and it’s all
going real well is always committed 2 a guy who didn't get anything
in common with her.
(13) Flirting isn't a tough nut 2 crack it’s
just too soft 2 b cracked actually.
(14) If there are two or more ways to flirt, and one of
those ways can result in a catastrophe, then make sure you are not the person
doing that.
(15) If anything can go wrong in flirting -- it will...so
be prepared to blame others for the mistakes.
(16) Left to them, flirting tend to go from bad to worse
(familiarity breeds contempt-capiche).So strike while the iron is hot.
(17)Smile... tomorrow there is always another girl to try
these laws on.
(18) Whenever you think a girl is your best friend and u
think you can make a move, the very next day she will prove u wrong and you are
back to square one.
(19) Flirting is an art and if u r not expert keeps away.
(20) If you are nice to a girl, you r a flirt and if not
then you r a moron.
(21) The more you flirt the better you get at it; the
better you get the more you wants to do it ... this is a vicious cycle.
(22) Flirting is comparable to farting..lesser you do
both...lesser you get the satisfaction.....If u cross limit in both....it’s a prob. for you n
others!!
(23) Flirting acts as the catalyst for the best mood of
the day for a normal human being where the human being can be the best he has;
that includes his brains also; So to gain the best in life keep flirting that is the
best exercise for u to be the best.
(24) The sexier the girl is an empty her upper
compartment. That would explain why blonds are iconically dumb.
(25) When you're flirting with her.....
1. She doesn't get the signals until you give up
2. When she gets the signals, you're flirting with
someone else....
3. You flirt with her; her friend gets the signal
4. Her friend flirts with you; you don't get the signals
5. Someone else flirts with her, she gets the signal,
but you don't or when you do it’s too late.
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